FSC Psychotherapy Services include:


Internet Addiction -- Internet Infidelity
Internet addiction starts when the rest of a person's life falls apart because of excessive online activity. The Internet is a fine hobby or work tool until it causes problems with social partners, work, or school. Internet Abuse , Pathological Internet Use  (PIU), Net Addiction  are just a few of the phrases used to describe what the American Psychological Association as long ago as 1997 accepted as a pathological behaviour or disorder. Not to be confused with the early zeal of a newcomer to the internet, Internet addiction is an extreme development. Net addiction has ruined lives. At FCS we have gained considerable experience and a marvelous success rate, dealing with Internet addiction problems. Building a support team which invariably includes the family doctor as well as the entire immediate family, our goal will be to return normalcy, balance, happiness (overall wellness) to your life in short order. 

Surprisingly, we find the internet "junky" is not a high-tech computer 'geek' but more likely to be a nearly computer illiterate or 'enthusiastic tourist' to the internet world. Many computer professionals such as software research and development programmers; computer network system engineers and administrators; web designers and developers, all spend countless hours in front of a computer monitor, just as a bus driver spends countless hours "behind the wheel". So before you leap to the conclusion that you have a 'net junkie' in your household, make certain first that they are not your basic burgeoning genius (a.k.a. computer geek) just finishing their first two hundred thousand lines of program language to create the next generation of operating system software or  robotics programming.   

Here are a few signs to watch for.

  • Using the online services everyday without skipping a day.
  • Loosing track of time after making a connection and going out less and less.
  • * Spending excessive amounts of time (2-4 hrs. per day) on Multi-User Dungeons, Newsgroups, Chats, two-way communications (i.e.: ICQ), Messenger Services etc.
  • Your social life depends on making acquaintances on the internet Chats.
  • Your sex life depends on making acquaintances on the internet.
  • Spending less and less time on meals at home or at work, and eating in front of the monitor.
  • Denying time with your loved ones while spending too much time on the internet. Then denying and making excuses when confronted.
  • Family members complaining of your spending too much time in front of the monitor.
  • Checking on your mailbox too many times a day.
  • Logging onto the Net while already busy at work.
  • Sneaking online when spouse or family members are not at home, with a sense of relief.

*  Ninety Percent of problems are in this area.

Is CyberSex  Equal to "Cheating"

If your life/social partner feels that certain kinds of cyber activity are outside the bounds of your "partnership agreement", then "CyberSex" is assuredly a form of infidelity or cheating. Within the context of the traditional marriage, it is our view that most two-way communication "CyberSex" or "cyber-dating" is a form of betrayal and infidelity.  Where these issues are creating tension and hostility within a relationship or family, both individual and joint counseling is strongly recommended. 

The Internet has become a conduit for types of pornography that have become both legal and moral issues. Arguably, that which is not covered within the criminal statutes and dealt with by our courts is between yourself, your conscience, your spouse and your spiritual advisor. Notwithstanding, it is our view that long-term excessive attendance at pornographic web sites is an indicator of some significant underlying problems. Identifying this problem often leaves one with the conclusion that there are at the least some reality perception issues and failures within the balance of life. Of course other possibilities could also be indicated.  There can be a fine line between what is healthy sexuality and what is not. Extremeness speaks for itself.

Doubts About Addiction

If you are not sure but suspect you, your partner, or child has an addiction problem, contact us to make a consultation appointment. Often that will lead to additional referrals. For certain, the odds say that you cannot cope with the problem alone. It is important to seek out professional help to recognize the social, political, economic, and cultural context within which the suspect addiction and / or substance abuse exist, including risk and resiliency factors. Significant life changes may be indicated or contra-indicated thus poor recognition of the problem's many parameters could lead to unschooled remedy which then actually worsens the problem. Parents of a drug-abusing offspring, for example, are often fooled by symptoms owing to the potential for substance abuse disorders to mimic a variety of medical and psychological disorders; and for the potential for medical and psychological disorders to co-exist with addiction and substance abuse. Multi-facted treatment may be essential to a complete extraction plan. Our view is that no effort should be spared to put every barrier possible between your child and illegal drugs.

Treatment, recovery, relapse prevention, and continuing care for addiction of many types:

  • pornography: obsessive relationships with a fantasy
  • substance abuse: drug addiction, alcohol addiction
  • sex addiction: promiscuity, compulsive masturbation, anonymous sex, pedophilia, phone sex, fetishes, voyeurism

Anger Management

Anger issues are numerous and varied in their complexity. As a single 'feeling', anger is a natural human emotion, nature's way of helping us "ward off" our perception of an attack or threat to our well being. Anger can be a very healthy thing. It can also be a very dangerous thing. In persons within whom anger has become a problem it is not the emotion of anger that's at issue, the problem is the mismanagement of this anger. Mismanaged anger turning to rage is the major cause of conflict in our personal and professional relationships. Domestic abuse, road rage, air rage, workplace violence, divorce and addiction are examples of what happens when anger is mismanaged.

Unexpressed anger can create other problems. It can lead to pathological expressions of anger, such as passive-aggressive behavior (getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confronting them head-on) or a personality that seems perpetually cynical and hostile. People who are constantly putting others down, criticizing everything, and making cynical comments haven't learned how to constructively express their anger. Not surprisingly, they aren't likely to have many successful relationships.

Passive aggressive anger, anger turned to rage, suppressed (hidden or unrecognized) anger, it's a big topic. Don't tackle this one alone. If you are having communication problems with your spouse, power struggles with your supervisor, or sexual conflicts with your lover, you are probably struggling with anger issues of your own which you may not recognize. Tension and hostility become the recipe for dysfunction as unresolved anger rules behaviour. We can help. 

Anger action patterns come from learned generational behavior exhibited by role models. These role models are primarily strong individuals who taught incorrect defensive mechanisms through their own conduct. This means that some people often lack the cognitive ability to think through situations. They often respond with inappropriate personal management skills. They instinctively seek the fastest way to defend themselves from attitudes and behavior viewed as unpleasant.

Cognitive restructuring therapy. Changing the way you think. When you are angry you tend to think in highly exaggerated, colourful terms. We will help you learn more rational ones; show you how to avoid words like 'never' or 'always' when communicating about yourself or someone else. You'll learn issue management processes and negotiating methods that state what the problem is using 'I' statements, taking the focus off of the other person and on to yourself. In short, you'll learn to take responsibility for your own feelings.

We help individuals identify the defensive postures they take when feeling threatened. Rage takes control of the person and in turn, that person uses rage to control others. These people do not look for ways to stop their anger; they act without thinking and then look for ways to cool down. If you don't know how to stop your anger, it grows and spreads to anyone or anything that gets in it's way. Sound familiar? We can help.

Sometimes anger is repressed by internalizing and denying. The passive-aggressive individual, for example, gives the cold shoulder, spreads rumours, practices "motivated forgetting" so as to frustrate others, and becomes depressed (anger turns inward). The passive aggressive individual denies his/her own feelings and effectively devalues them, allowing anger to "leak out" long after any event causing the anger, inevitably in other ways, directed at someone who by this time has no idea why or what is happening to them. Such individuals present a significant challenge and a great opportunity for effective cognitive skills development. We can help.

We can help you learn to manage and express anger directly in non-threatening ways that do not hurt others, yourself, or others' property. There are three assertive processes you will learn with us: 

  • Expressing: make clear what your needs are, and how to have them met without hurting others. Being assertive does not mean being pushy or demanding. It means being respectful of yourself and others.
  • Suppressing: holding in anger, trying to convert it into something positive. Or taking action when you are not as angry and can focus. The key here is that the suppressed behavior must be expressed eventually or it may lead to a multitude of problems as referenced earlier.
  • Calming: controlling internal responses, taking steps to lower heart rate, calm yourself down and let the feelings subside. 
  • At this point, you can easily choose to walk away from a confrontation.

Fees

  • Fees with taxes included will be set at your first appointment.
  • Therapy Fees range from $85 per hour to as low as $55 per hour with ability-to-pay relief applied to Seniors, Students and special cases.
  • Family Law matter mediation fees are $95 per hour.
  • Business / Proprietorship mediation fees are set based on a Schedule for Completion. 

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